From a young age I never felt I could fit in. High school was full of hormonal teenagers who always bullied you if you; looked, sounded, acted, and even smelled different to them. In my first year of high school I was seen as; a snitch, a nerd and a teacher’s pet. This let me to serve bullying throughout the year. The most common word they used to describe me was ‘Gay’. What does that word mean? I remember asking. I was very innocent at the time and had no idea what they were saying. It wasn’t until my second year that I finally understood the meaning.
Just before I turned thirteen, I began thinking what if I was ‘Gay’? What would it matter if I was? After talking to many close friends, I decided to come out as ‘Gay’. However, I was not expecting the response I got. I believed that everyone would accept it and move on, but no. If only that was the case.
Now I began experiencing a different type of bullying, I was shamed in the streets, I was beaten up in the streets going home. Wherever I went, I would be pointed out and made known to all. For the next two years I felt hopeless, weak, alone, and afraid. I could not see myself having a great life. Before I know it, I was depressed and suicidal.
But with help from loved ones and people who cared, I kept going. Never stopped going school. Never stopped believing in who I am. Finally, at the age of 16 I noticed a dramatic change in people’s behaviour around me. No one was bothered by who I was. They got to know me and understand me for who I am. Now looking back, I see scared, immature teenagers who didn’t understand what I was going through and what it was doing to me. Now after being ‘Gay’ for nearly 5 years I am still proud of who I am.
As Jason Bateman said - “It takes some intelligence and insight to figure out you're gay and then a tremendous amount of balls to live it and live it proudly”.